Thursday, December 17, 2009

Today's schedule

8-10: Free time (includes breakfast)
10-11: Pray
11-12: KCCC TCG stuff (yup, gonna take some time to finish descriptions)
12-2: Lunch and free time
2-3: Work on project
3-4: Break
4-5: Work on project
5-6: Spend time at the park
6-7: Project or work on personal programming projects
7-8: Dinner
8-10: KoL and free time.
10+: Attempt to sleep before midnight.

Let's do this.

Edit:

What really happened:
2-4: Play sports
4-6: Free time

Monday, December 14, 2009

Throwing in the towel

There's so much shame I have right now...

I spent so much time trying to do well on the project, but I couldn't even get it to compile and work. I e-mailed my professor and let him know my status on the project and requested for an incomplete. The shame I have right now seems equivalent (in my mind right now) to a person who almost made it to Mt. Everest, but couldn't take one more step because he just wasn't prepared for the cold weather. Failure because of a stupid reason that could have been rectified if I had only prepared earlier. Sigh... I give up. So long, Riverside.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Project completion: 0%

Still working on my project... running into a lot of errors and misinformed guesses. "If only I were smarter"... I just can't help but think that.

Alright, let's get crackin'! Only <3 hours to go! Let's do this!
<3 is just a coincidence. There is no love here.

Today's schedule

9-10am: Work on project
10-11am: Breakfast + listen to message
11-12pm: Work on project again
12-12:30pm: break/finish message and lunch
12:30-2:00pm: Project
2-2:30pm: break/game/blog
2:30-5:00pm: project
5-5:15pm: break
5:15-7:00pm: project
7-8:00pm: dinner
8-12:00pm: scamble to finish the rest of the project

I'm so sad... =(

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Dream of Lost Saga and something I might have forgotten

I had a dream this afternoon where I was some character in the game Lost Saga (I don't remember which one) and I was in some battle. I totally forgot what happened, but it was pretty cool until I either died or transitioned to some other dream.

AW CRAP, I knew I should have blogged about it right away... I forgot everything that happened... =(

2009-12 Wordle

Here is a sample of the most common words I use for this blog. Of course, this isn't very accurate for the words I normally use (I don't tend to say "kill" or "sylar" more than "also"). It would be more accurate if I used it for my old blog.

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If my friends saw this, they would crack up a lot. A long time ago, we used to say the word Jamaican a lot. I don't remember why.

Here's one of my old blog, but it doesn't include the older entries.

I think I just tend to talk about people a lot, huh? =)

Friday, December 11, 2009

Oh dang...

I never realized my RSS feeds didn't update themselves and now I'm seeing some of the posts that I haven't seen before. Seeing the pain people have, the joy that they experience, and the silliness that occur... I find it very interesting to see things from other people's perspectives.

I am an observer. I always read, watch for updates, but I never really comment or try to interact with people about their posts. Even in real life, I like to keep my distance and become an observer. Sure, I have my judgments, but I keep them to myself and I usually forget about it later on. I don't really share things with people.

Online, I like to express my thoughts and my feelings, although there are some things I just don't post and cannot express. I am aware of people watching me and I don't want to post anything that would give me unwanted (negative) attention. I am basically a sign. I don't beg people to listen or read, but what I have to inform you with is all right here. I'm usually not very informative.

I think that is why I am so apathetic towards gatherings, retreats, and anything that gets me to be with a group of people larger than 5. I just don't like it. I want to be a distant observer. I want to be a distant sign... because when I'm distant, I can do my own projects and people don't have to notice me. I can post signs that people can read later on... not right away.

And I believe the root of all that is the way I interact with people. My conversations are shallow and I don't want to give away much about who I am. I'm afraid people will "figure me out". I never have anything substantial to add to any conversation nor do I have conversations that are vaguely thought-provoking. Because I don't have many people I am comfortable talking with, it just boils down to me not wanting to be with people.

What's up with this paradox? I guess it's the calloused heart I have, just not seeing the potentials of people anymore. Not being able to see how special everyone is and how God made each and everyone of them a masterpiece. I guess... I need to be with God more. I need to see with His eyes. I need God.

Dream of being comforted

I had a dream where I was freaking out about finals, but when all hope was lost for me, my friend came and visited me. We talked about a lot of stuff, sat on the swings, ate together, and shared an intimate time. It felt good to throw away all my stress and enjoy the company of someone close. When I woke up, I had a hard time getting out of bed. =(

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Dream about KoL and random stuff

Throughout this dream, I don't know how it all started, but in the middle I fell onto an island. Oh crap, now I remember! I was dreaming about working on my project and asking some of my classmates how they were doing. Right after, my dream led to me falling and dropping my phone on a dead guy's body. I kept trying to get my phone, but every time I would, I noticed that some weird blood sucking bugs would try to attack me.

YUCK!

After a few tries, a crap load of them chased me and made me completely give up on it. There was also a point where I pissed off this guy who looked like an old Jamaican guy. He yelled at me and hinted that I should stay away from the body, but he also threatened to kill me. I was really freaked out, so I just sat and waited for the blood sucking bugs to leap away. When they almost fully left the body, I quickly snatched my phone.

YES! Man, I had a huge urge to check my text messages!

A few moments after retrieving my phone, the Jamaican guy came up to me and motioned for me to follow him. OH SNAP!

I followed him and he taught me a new way to strum a guitar and then he showed me a room where there were a whole bunch of bees. I realized that the bees were from KoL and I taught him how to kill it by stealing an empty jar and his camera. I then used the two items to capture the bees and I won an award for killing the man made of bees and somehow I obtained a new mug.

YEA-YUH! =)

The Jamaican guy then led me to see his kids and then I woke up... I think.

Man, I dreamed about school projects and KoL... how horrible and awesome. =)