Thursday, January 28, 2010

Start anew? Getting there.

I have a feeling that I'm going to fail my project. Even with the time I invest in it, I feel as if there's no escape from failure. Even if I finish my project, my homework and comprehension of my class subjects are so poor. I don't really know what's going on and I have so little time to prepare for my next presentation/projects... but for some reason I'm feeling... okay?

Yeah, I do feel like crap, but I don't feel as stressed as I normally would. If I think about it... I still have a degree. I finished my B.S. degree in CS and I don't really need to get a M.S. to continue in the career I want to pursue. Sure, I would have wasted a lot of money (mostly on rent, because of scholarships), but I still learned a lot.

I don't want to fail. I don't want to do poorly in the very subject I love... but if I get kicked out of UCR, what more do I have to lose? I can start applying for jobs, move back home, spend a little more time relaxing... yet the very thought of that makes me feel the mixed feelings of relief and regret.

I forgot why I wrote this. I want to come check out talent show. I need to finish this project. Aw man...

Monday, January 25, 2010

T-minus 6...

It's almost time to turn in that project...
It's almost time to turn in my make up assignment...
It's almost time to declare my research topic...
It's almost time to turn in my programming homework...
It's almost time to throw in the towel...

But not yet.

It's time to overcome obstacles.
It's time to turn the impossible into the improbable.
It's time to stand up for what is right.
It's time to worship God.
It's time to step out in faith.

Why worry? Because I'm scared.
Why not? Because God is here.

I want to give up and I want to quit. I want to just be lazy and sit around, but I'm going to change. Slowly, but surely... this is my week of change. No more gaming this week (quarter? but with the exception of KoL). I've had enough fun (really? no, not really... but I had a lot of fun). I want progress and I'm gonna work for it.

This is my declaration. I will live for you, Lord.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Don't mind this... just homework guesses.

Optional homework:
-- 3.2 --
1. let x = 1 in let x = x + 1 in x
Guess : 2
//Correct! W00t!

2. let x = 1 in
let f y = x in
let x = 2 in
f 0
Guess : 1
//Correct! Alright, two in a row!

3. let f x = x - 1 in
let f x = f (x - 1) in
f 2
Guess : 0
//Correct! I think I'm getting the hang of this!

4. let y = 2 in
let f x = x + y in
let f x = let y = 3 in f y in
f 5
Guess : 5
//Correct! OH MAN! I'm actually understanding something!

5. let rec factorial i =
if i = 0 then 1 else i * factorial (i - 1)
factorial 5
Guess : 120
//Correct! 100%! YEAH!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Broke Neck Mountain

My neck was hurting like crazy this morning and I had a hard time getting up without feeling immense pain in my neck and shoulder. When I tried to lay down again, there were sharp pains in my neck and I had to slowly adjust the way I lowered myself to my bed. Hm... uh oh...

Time to rest and catch up on work tomorrow! =)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Dream of eating and hanging out

I dreamed I was in the library, but I was studying. All of a sudden, there were all these people who appeared (all from KCCC) and they were all talking and eating. I was a little mad, because I wanted to study, but I saw that I had food somehow. I, then, checked my phone and saw that it was 12:00 and time for lunch, so I didn't mind. Sen was cooking food for everyone... in the libary? What the heck?

Then my alarm went off at 12:00pm and I got up to study with Sen. Weird.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Sample from my QT on Exodus 3

You know, Moses was able to see the burning bush and was so curious about why it did not burn away. Why didn't anyone else see the fire that God put on the bush?

I never bothered to look at the fire God was making in Riverside. There's a huge fire being built in Riverside, but why is it that I never really stop to look at it? Where is my curiosity for God and where did my passion for seeking after God go? I want to be like Moses and be observant of God's work around me. I want to be able to look at God's work and try to touch it... experience it... embrace it...

This fire... this revival, in Riverside, is something I want to see and examine. I want to look at things past my 5 physical senses and look at things with my spiritual sense.

I know that this analysis does not hold close to this passage, but this was the thing that I felt after reading this chapter.

My application is to seek after God through His Word and through prayer.