Saturday, March 13, 2010

Stomach

Every time there is some weird feeling of impending doom, my stomach gets tied up and knotted. It's like I have butterflies flying in there and some weird swirl of nervousness that makes me think only about the problems that I am about to face.

I wonder if anyone ever felt this way back in Old Testament or New Testament times? Did Daniel ever get scared of the lion or at the very least a little nervous? Did Elijah ever feel tension about the thought, "Will God light up my sacrifice, even though I drenched the altar with water?".

I don't know about any of this, but I know they overcame their problems with God. Will I be able to do the same?

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Isn't it great that...

...I have such an awesome group of friends?
...I have enough time to worry of unimportant things rather than important things?
...all this worrying kept me from thinking about dating? (Oops... nevermind...)
...Glenn is staying over? ;D
...I'm tired, yet feeling better about my presentation?
...gum was invented?
...I have working teeth?
...I'm not allergic to the foods I love?
...I was actually able to make it this far in my academic career?
...God gave me a family that I love and adore?
...God revealed Himself to me?
...God consoles me, even though I don't deserve it?
...God loves me and offers and wonderful plan for my life?

...finals are almost over?

WOOT! LET'S DO THIS!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

ARGH, FEAR, GO AWAY!

I want to throw it away... I want to dispose of it... but it keeps coming back! ARGH!

Stupid nervous feeling in my stomach. I hate this. Can't I just rely on the Lord? Why is this body so disobedient? Well, I guess I'll just have to do more work to shut it up. =)

SHUT UP STOMACH! Stop turning and twisting! ARGH!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Lord, how come when you bless me, I can only think of bad things?

I've been given a degree... I've been given my knowledge and passion for CS... I've been given great friends (esp. Glenn, Jason, and Julie... HOLLA!)... I even got a G1! zOMG!

So why am I still complaining about my grades? Why am I still complaining about how hard life it? Why am I still complaining that I'm so weak?

It must be because I forget who guides me throughout my trials. He's watching over me, yet I only use my physical sight to determine where I am. When am I going to pray for the Holy Spirit to fill me? God's only waiting for me to ask ("Ask and you will receive [...]").

Dude... it's crunch time. LET'S OWN THESE FINALS!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

G1, w00t!

(Supposedly) I'm supposed to get a G1 later today when my mom comes by. Woot! I can't wait to start writing applications for it! YEAH!

Even better, I'm glad that I get to see my mom. I miss my mom a lot and it sucks being so far from home.

I guess, that's the type of feeling I want to have for God as well. When I'm away from Him, I want to be able to have that strong feeling of attachment. God... I'm sorry that my finals are driving me away from You. My own worldly common-sense is telling me to move away from You, but I know that You have been helping me from the very start. It would be stupid to think I did all this myself.

Let's do this together God! Guide me!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The word I use the most

"Jerk"

You're a jerk face. You jerk. Oh my gosh, what a JERK! JERK! FACE!

I love saying those phrases. But as I'm fasting video games this week, I don't want to make this about giving up one thing, but changing my life for God. Fasting isn't about just giving up something. It's not about just giving up food or something that you love. It's also about devoting your life to God.

The things I give up for God this week are things I want to give up to Him for all my life. Sure, it may be hard to give up gaming for my life, but just because I give it all to God, doesn't mean that God will never let me play. It also doesn't mean that God will want me to play either. =\

Still, if I can focus more on God through this, I want to. Lord, who am I to think about something You created over who You are? I mean, I love my mom because of the food she creates and the love she gives to me. I don't just focus on the things she gives me (sometimes I do though). I don't just focus on the cooking. She's someone I love regardless of the materials she can give. She loves me. I feel warm inside just thinking about it. I don't want to disappoint her. I don't want anything to hurt her.

That's the attention I want to give to God. He's so awesome... He even gave me my loving parents. I won't focus my life on that. You, God, will be my #1 priority! Now... let's see if I can stop dreaming about those video games. Ugh...