Friday, October 29, 2010

"Did you seriously just call me ignorant?" -- Rant

You know what really bugs me? People who complain about how ignorant a group of people are, yet their very own statement is a statement of ignorance.

Sure, people can be ignorant... but when someone make the statement, "Christians are ignorant", that person implies that all Christians are ignorant (even if that person didn't mean it). That person also comes off as ignorant, bigoted, and/or incapable of using logic.

To overhear people say that sucks, but to hear someone write it off by saying, "Oh, I didn't mean for YOU to hear that" doesn't justify anything. No apology? Or is that a sad attempt at one? That's another thing that pisses me off. When someone wrongs you, it is easier if you are reassured that they will try to tone down a bit and attempt to make up for their mistake. For some people, a spoken apology is enough. For others, they expect a promise or for the offender to make it up somehow. So if the offender does nothing at all? That's called being a jerk... but you can also substitute some more offensive synonyms in there as well.

I understand that people may be skeptical of Christianity or may be atheists. I don't find anything wrong with that, but I do find something wrong with people who find it funny to make a negative, blanket statement about all Christians. Those who are willing to discuss beliefs, whether disagreeing or agreeing, are okay, but once they cross the line... that just gets on my nerves. There's nothing intelligent about a person who haphazardly throws out jokes about Christians. Of course, there are times where you can make those jokes with friends where they know you do not have anything you or your beliefs, but they just found a joke that was funny... though, delivery and timing of a joke is important if it is meant to be funny.

There are limits to my tolerance and those ignorant statements definitely crosses the line.

People deserve respect... but if you can't respect others, what makes you think other people will want to respect you?

Monday, October 25, 2010


Well, it did. I couldn't go to work and I have to find time on Tuesday to change the battery so if I do go to work, I won't be stranded there. Pictures of dead battery coming soon!

Edit: Here are the pictures!

Bad battery... because charging is necessary. Still doesn't work after you charge it. ARGH!
Good battery! But no indicator... still cool though.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Long overdue photos

I love it when CM visits Riverside! Charlston JDSN and Daniel Teacher came by and we had rising savor and went to see a movie. It was awesome... and yet I forgot to post up the pictures for a very long time... =(


Yeah, there are only 5 pictures taken, but we had some great food. I hope we'll get to hang out more often! =D

Saturday, October 23, 2010

After All is Said and Done

I've been thinking throughout the day about what my impact in this world was. If I passed away, would people just mourn and, later on, continue with the regular schedule? Or would people focus on serving God and basking in His love?

If I do pass away, I don't want people to be grateful for what I've done for them. I want people to be motivated to seek after God and realize the love that God has for them. So I write this now, just in case something does happen to me.

I want people to realize that true gratefulness for a person's impact in their lives result in action. I don't think I've done anything to warrant people to move in action, but I want to keep living my life and striving in that direction.

Of course, I don't want to be like Hitler or Mao Zedong. That's not the type of action I'm looking for. =(

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

What I Made For Small Groups

Here's a picture of the food I made for small groups! <3!

A sample of the egg sandwiches I made before... as practice
Left: Preparation; Right: All the sandwiches!

BOOYAH! Yummy egg sandwiches! I hope they like it!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Going home again!

I don't want to focus on what I lose throughout my life. I want to focus on how much God loves me.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Sen Yeung Shu

For some reason, Tot-- I mean, Sen is someone I connect with really well. Out of all the people I have met in Riverside, he is one of the few people I can share a good chunk of my inner thoughts and feelings to (one of the others is James).

"Wha--, are you serious?"

Yup. Most people I am friends with are people who I connect through common interests, shared experiences, or shared values. I love hanging around them, but I just don't connect very well with them. My background is usually very different from them and the way I was raised made my thought patterns so much different from others.

With Sen, not only do we both come from 18 years of having a wary attitude towards religion, but we were both saved our freshman year. Because of that, we started off knowing so little about God, Jesus, and the Bible. It was hard to overcome the temptations we had because we could never realize how bad our temptations were.

When he told me he wanted to accept Christ after I gave my testimony... I was moved! He had made the decision before my testimony, but I got to hear how similar his thinking was to mine! Even though he seemed to be a really weird and creepy guy, I wanted to get to know him more.

As we talked, I realized the struggles he faced. Most people won't believe me when I say my English was horrible when I was young, but it was. Throughout elementary and middle school, I was bullied (verbally) for my crappy English. For the amount of time Sen spent learning English, he learned it faster than I did during my time in America!

No one really understands how wide the gap can be with language barriers. It is more convenient to make fun of someone who you have a hard time understanding, rather than taking the time to be their friend.

It gets even harder when people see just ONE instance of you doing something weird and forever implant in their minds that they already KNOW who you are. Sen faces that exact problem. People see him become obsessed with SNSD. They see that he has "otaku syndrome". They see that he plays too many video games. They see him being weird and saying things that may offend others.

And on the inside, they have decided to shun him and ignore him.

I HATE THAT! Not one of those people know the struggles he goes through when he makes it to morning prayer. They don't know that he is eager to know who God is. They don't know that he did QTs with me almost every day and even reminded me that we should do QTs! They don't know that he doesn't want to offend others and that he tries to watch what he says. They don't know that he just wants to be friends with people around him, yet notices how people distance themselves away from him... even if he approaches them.

JERKS! Yet, Sen has shown me that I do the same thing. He hasn't said it to me, but I know that there are some people I do not make an effort to know more. Actually, there are many people who I don't make an effort to know more. I don't hate them or think less of them, but I immediately have this idea that:

"I have nothing in common with them. Therefore, I shouldn't waste my time talking with them."

If I sense arrogance with people I meet for the first time, I feel like avoiding them. Man... and I don't even know their real personality! I already assume I know them just by my first impressions of them.

I can't jump to conclusions... that's not how math problems work, or CS problems, or Jesus' parables work. You can't go from receiving 10 talents to being banished from the master's property. We need not solely yearn for academic knowledge, but knowledge of our brothers and sisters too. Knowledge of our current and future siblings in Christ.

It's a big step, but so is transitioning from earth to Heaven.

You gotta do it sometime.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


Even as I'm experiencing the working world, I'm learning about the areas I need to improve in. I never knew that I would still have to improve in the areas of patience and kindness. I still can't read the atmosphere very well and conduct myself in a manner that fits according to the atmosphere.

I was so agitated today, because I realized how much I ruined my sister's day and how I am not as encouraging as I thought I was. I might even have been so prideful as to think that I should lead morning prayer when the person who was supposed to lead morning prayer didn't show up before 7:10am.

I kept thinking that the books I read and the sermons I listen to have made me someone more mature and that I need to take action... but I forget that there must be patience to see the right moment to act and discernment for the right action to take.

I'm still growing and the experiences I've faced today have really pushed me to remember how I need to change. I am not done transforming from a caterpillar to a butterfly (... a manly butterfly, mind you...).

Lord, I still have the heart. I'm still looking for ways to improve. Thank you for showing me the pride I have to take down. I can't be talking all the time, because then I think I know everything. I can't just listen all the time, because then I won't take action. I'll go through this adventure with You, Lord... and I'll find that right timing for listening and talking.

I never want to be prideful... not now, not ever.

Edit: I'm going to keep myself from initiating conversation with my sister. I'm just making things worse when I do. I need to do more listening rather than more talking.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The craziest dream I've had in a very long time!

This is a dream that has made me feel like a rebel, made me cry, made me feel like I hit rock bottom, and made me overjoyed! I just want to share it with you.

Dream transition~~~


I'm chilling out with a bunch of my friends from KCCC, all excited for the grand opening of Starcraft 2 (I know, it came out already, but this is my dream). We're at this high tech elevator that floats without wires! As we all marvel at this awesome thing. It looks like we are standing inside a parking lot, but the ceiling is high enough to make us feel like it wasn't a parking lot. Where the elevator should be, there was a huge, jagged, and almost circular opening in the ground. Joseph Lee, my SW, almost stumbles into the "chasm" and I freaked out and pulled him away from it.

As we continued talking, the elevator finally came floating up.

It was marvelous! A towering elevator that looks kind of... biological? The doors opened in a way that looked slimy. A professional looking person in this black suit asks for registered guests to come into the elevator. I'm watching some of my friends go in the elevator and it floats up to the top.

Um... I don't want to sit around... this is boring.

Minutes later, another elevator comes up and I went into it with Joseph Lee.

Joseph Koo: Wait! I don't think you should do that!

Me: Nah, it's okay! C'mon Joseph (Lee)!

Joseph and I entered the elevator and the inside looked like a regular elevator. I found a hidden switch and I press the button to get to the top floor. When we reach the top, the ones who went before me turned around

"What are you doing here?"

Me: I'm just here to check out stuff

The moment I move past my friends, a siren/horn goes off repeatedly in short intervals! Everyone is FREAKING OUT and I see the manager walk briskly towards me, shoving my friends aside.

"GET OUT! You're not registered! The cops will be waiting for you downstairs!"

He said all that while pointing viciously at me. Cutthroat, no mercy... I freaked out and didn't know what to do. I left Joseph with my friends at the event and pressed the button to go to the bottom floor.

"Nah, no way this is real... this can't be happening to me! I'm not really in that much trouble, right?"

I was on the verge of crying, feeling an all time high of immense fear. Holy crap... what's gonna happen to me? I go down the elevator alone. Sad that I broke the law. Sad that I brought my SW with me.

When the elevator reached the bottom floor, it turned into a cart (what the...) and went towards an elevator operator. As I look into the distance, I could see an officer point at me and say,

"Yeah, that's the troublemaker."

He uttered a few more profanities that made me feel lower than a dog. My heart sank as the cart was passing the operator, who kicks the cart towards a fat cop.

"Get out of the cart! HURRY UP!"

I fumble out of the cart.

"Put your hands up! HANDS UP!"

I freak out, start crying, and notice a skinny cop shooting a rifle in the distance, alternating with the fat cop.

The skinny cop tells me,

"I knew this day would come. You almost killed my partner"

Me: What? He was about to shoot me! I had to--" (wait what? yeah... dreams are like that)

Skinny cop: "No, you didn't. You had a choice and you messed up. You screwed up big time ad you deserve to be in jail. YOU HEAR ME? You deser--"

Me: I know, I know, I.. I...I didn't want... It's all my fault..."

I bawled my eyes out and covered my face with my hands.

I thought I might get an easier sentence if I just admitted my wrongs, but the fat guy's expression told me otherwise. I started thinking, "Put me in jail already... I just want to get it over with..."

I lean back, wanting to sleep and forget all this crazy crap that's going on. As I lean back, I find myself resting on a familiar object. It felt warm and I realized that it was. My voice, cracked and coarse from crying, managed to blurb out one word...


I turn around and see Scott's back supporting me. I look in front of me and I see Josh and other guys in KCCC. They're cops, but they were different. They were relaxed, playful with each other. I look to my right and find two guys playfully pushing each other... probably trying to look tough. I look around and saw all the guys chatting away, comfortable and creating an atmosphere of brotherhood.

I ask Josh,

"Why are you guys so nice (to me)?"

Josh: That's just how we are.

I heard Phil's voice butting in,

"Uh huh."

Josh: These guys, they just have this connection...

Phil: Gayyyy...

Josh: It doesn't matter who you are.

"Whatever", Phil says playfully.

Josh: Whether you're one of us or an Israelit

Phil: You mean... Isrealite? *grins*

Josh: Man, shut up.

Just the fact that they didn't care I was in trouble and didn't treat me like crap... I was overjoyed! They talked to me like I was a part of their group and consoled me while I was freaking out over the whole incident. I felt my heart warm up and tears of joy welled up in my eyes. You guys are the best!


End dream sequence...

I finally woke up and I realized that none of this happened and the story was RETARDED, but I was still touched by all that I faced. Somehow, I <3 KCCC... even though they didn't really get me out of trouble. =/

My heart feels so warm and fuzzy inside. Reminded me of how I accepted Christ and the times we were all hanging out in KCCC... especially freshman year. I never felt so close people outside my family before.

Thank you for the memories. Let's create more for others!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

College finances

For this topic, I'm not really talking about the increase in university tuition or anything like that, but the way college students manage their finances. There are three (obvious) categories I usually see for students.

1. The frugal type
This type really tries to save money and doesn't attempt to spend money on anything that isn't necessary. They will cut away most of their luxuries and be focused on getting through school. They usually are aware of the financial situation of their families or really focus on being independent and responsible.

2. The spender type
Generally, they tend to spend money if it will do these things for them: entertain and/or make things convenient. They may or may not acknowledge that they like to spend money, but the ones that do not acknowledge the fact are usually people who are pretty selfish about their money (which is reasonable, if they don't cheat people out of their money). They may even have a habit of lying about the money they have and complain that they are poor, while buying expensive things for themselves just to keep people from thinking they are selfish with their money.

The general trend I see? They either focus on having fun in college or they can balance fun and studies well. Either way, they spend a lot of money.

3. The middle ground type
They can tend to shift to either side of the spectrum between frugal and spender. The values and priorities they have can change where they will be on the spectrum. I usually see them as the ones who are studious and tend to spend more money on academics than the frugal type to get resources that fit their study habits and help them succeed in classes. They can also be the lazy type who tries to save money, but eventually gives in to buying luxury items from time to time.

Now, all these types have their positive and negative trends in society, but I have one group that I get egged off by. Just a little bit.

The people in the middle ground type have this train of thought that they want to save money, but don't realize that, in the bigger picture, they are actually wasting money. The ones who go through college trying to save money on books, on clothes they buy, the food they eat, and/or any other category always forget that you can't save money if you are forced to take another year of school. Right now, that would be an extra $10,000. Would you be able to save $10,000 worth of stuff to break-even with that extra year of school? Worst of all, some of these students aren't even paying for college themselves. Their parents are earning money and trying to save it for their children's education and it is just wasted because not enough effort is applied to academics.

To waste your own money and your own time is one thing, but if you waste someone else's money and time, then that's just horrible. It doesn't even matter if you try to save money here and there, because in the long run, it would have just been a waste.

I wish there was more of an appreciation for the hard work parents put into their children's life and education.

// end rant