Monday, February 28, 2011

CM Lock-in

Man, it was so fun!  I was glad to have the chance to share about Christ to all the kids in CM, but what really bothered me was whether or not they actually understood how great it was to know Christ personally.  Getting closer and closer to God always brought about a joy in my life that could not be destroyed, but as I focused more and more on the secular things of this world... there was little substance in my life that amounted to anything valuable.

I don't want the lock-in to be my only time seeking after God and sharing with others, but for my whole life to be like that.  Lord, please help me follow after you.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Treating People Like People

This week, I was really irked by how people treat others.  First and foremost, (outside of the view of God) we should treat ourselves well.  Our body has kept us living, breathing, and functional.  Why, then, should we abuse our bodies with late night activities that accomplish nothing or stretching our body to the limit when we need rest?  Or even oversleeping and keeping our body and mind from being active, we turn ourselves into vegetables (although, I do love being lazy).

After we get past that barrier, this next part is definitely tough.  It's hard to put ourselves into another person's shoes, but we could at least treat others the way we would like to be treated.  Yet, there are people who treat other people like crap and they don't even realize that if they had someone talk to them in the same way, they would be furious!  People with such volatile personalities usually don't realize the actions they have done to others and continue to perpetual a cycle of anger in this world... when it could have just ended with a polite, "I don't like the way you treat me."  It sounds cheesy and stupid, but people always throw away the option of politely expressing their distaste with a certain action and just dismiss the possibility that it may work... just because they've never seen it work.

Maybe it's because they never use it?

What bothers me the most is the fact that people die.  The person you insult today may die tomorrow.  You may never get the chance to show your loved ones that you truly love them.  If you spend more than 80% of your day avoiding them or raising your voice to them, then how could they even trust that you loved them?

I live each day knowing that the people around me may die some day.  People may not get along with me, but if I can help it, I would never want to leave the last word as an insult or hurtful word.

I hope that you all may see that as well.  Love your parents, spouses, friends, siblings, anyone you meet.  That is what Valentine's Day should be like.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Pride Test

Man... I fail so many of these...  =(

Lord, please let me focus more on You and others rather than myself.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Performing Below Par

Today was a horrible horrible day.  I was (and still am) angry and disappointed at myself for not giving my best to God.  I hate it when I don't prepare enough for Bible Study and my students do not get the opportunity to learn as much as they should have.

These are the times I feel like the worst teacher ever.

Still, through these times where I feel horrible, I want to overcome.  God has shown me so much of my weaknesses and pride.  I never want to resort to my self-destructive pride, but, instead, resort to the power of my almighty God.

I need to prepare more with prayer and with action.  Lord, forgive me for my sin and help me to be a better ambassador and steward for you.

Thank you for the chance to meet such wonderful students.

Edit: You know the worst part of today?  It was the fact that I put on a tone of voice that I never wanted to put on within my classroom.  The stupid arrogant and "matter-of-fact" tone that I always despised... I actually used it.  So much shamed filled me after I taught my class and I never want to rely upon my own self to teach my class ever again.

Please Lord... don't let me be the teacher for your students.  May you teach my students through me instead.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Cleanin' My Room!

Well, I tried, but it's hard to clean my room.  I'm glad I'm living on my own, since my mom won't be able to see how messy my room is.  Well, I'll try to clean more later.

On another note, happy Chinese New Years!  Woot woot!  =D

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Helplessness Doesn't Have To Lead To Despair

Last month, I had many moments where I felt helpless.  I thought I could do great things for God and really have people appreciate it, but someone else would come along and do it better or I would totally mess up something I could have prevented.

After that happens, I feel so helpless.  The knowledge I've gained and the power I've accumulated amounted to nothing when I couldn't achieve a goal or stop a situation.  I look further back and see all the times I was able to overcome and look at myself now with disappointment.

Then it hits me.  Everything so far hasn't been for naught.  The Lord is still building me up, even though I was so focused on how I could accomplish things instead of focusing on giving my all and letting God make things happen.

Sure, it's not that huge of a revelation.  It's probably something I should already know... but I'm always reminded that repentance isn't always a one time thing.  Sin may come back without us realizing it, but God's still there to catch us when we fall.  He's still smiling and cheering us on... and I'm glad I have such an awesome God with me.