Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Oh yeah... Merry Christmas!

I had the best Christmas gift ever!  Guess what it is?

Well, now that I think about it, it's a little embarrassing to say, but I finally have a girlfriend!  =)

I am still nervous and excited from confessing yesterday and I can't wait to see her again!  It's a wonderful 2012 and the best Christmas I've had!

One day I might go over the silly story about how we spent that Christmas eve, but it's time to spend Christmas with family now!  See yaaa~  =D

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Anxiousness? Nervousness? Eagerness? Excitement?

Those are all the feelings I'm going through right now!  I'm looking forward to so many things and how this year will end (hopefully not with the end of the world).

I got a new job in Norcal that I am extremely excited about and it's fun working there!  I also started a group blog with my friends on tumblr, so I haven't gotten a chance to update blogger as much anymore.  Still, I hope that I can eventually write a program that will allow me to post to both sites simultaneously.

I hate to be so abstract about what I'm blogging about, but it almost feels like I jinx myself every time I mention plans for the future, but I will probably update this when the new year starts.  =)

Monday, September 17, 2012

Dream Log 20120917

I was driving to norcal and ended up resting at a friend's house. It ended up being a house that housed millions of ants and the ants had different colors and species. They didn't get along well with each other and one ant picked up a baby ant and threw it into a wall.

I scolded the ant and ran to console the other ant. As I walked back, my leg was covered in ants and I was freaked out. I tried to move them to the ground. It was really disguting to me and it turns out the ants were pieces of knowledge I had and they ran into different colored ant hills.

Weird.  Especially since I felt the ants crawling on my legs even after I woke up.  Ughhhh...

Dream Log 20120914

Had a dream where I was back in norcal with 3 other people and america was attacked! I got split up with my friends and ran to my house. My house happened to be a store that sold shoes... wth?

Anyways, I waited there until my friends caught up and we remembered we needed to revive shaco from LoL (wth?). We also needed to revive another person who I liked named Kana (don't know that person in real life).

We revived shaco with a random vegetable from the grocer along with his heart, since I accidentally stepped on his heart somehow and it needed something to repair it (continuity was not a part of this dream, obviously). I revived Kana with a ring I put on my finger and then my dream ended.

So weird. =\

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Interview Jitters

Normally an interview isn't such a scary thing to me.  It's something I just attend, answer questions, have fun talking with the interviewer, and something that just feels like a process.

But tomorrow I'll be interviewing with a company I've always wanted to be a part of and for a job that I've always wanted to do.  I've had this experience only once in my life and it was I felt fearful throughout the whole time I was preparing for the interview.  I'm still super scared, even though I know the world won't end if I don't get this job.

Still, I feel it's great to be able to express my feelings somewhere so I won't implode upon myself.  I can't wait to answer all the questions correctly, engage in meaningful conversation, and present myself to the best of my ability.  I am so excited that I get another chance to do something I've dreamed of since I was a kid and I hope that all my preparation will bear fruit!

And if not, I hope I will be able to show that I have what it takes half a year from now.  I can barely contain my fear and excitement and I want to just shout it all out at the highest cliff I can find (except not... I'm scared of heights).

My awesome brain... don't fail me now!  =)

Monday, August 20, 2012

Back In Norcal!

Oh how amazing it is to be back!  I love the weather (sort of, still too cold for me, but not too hot), I love being with my family, and I love being so close to a tennis court!

It's great being back and enjoying the atmosphere I miss out on in Socal.  Even though my degree of freedom is (very very slightly) less than my freedom in Socal, the love I feel from my family is something that fills my soul.  =)

Alas, I have to leave tomorrow, but I will take the love and care my parents gave me and bring my renewed self to Socal!  Time to make my mark on the world and be a better person overall!  YEAH!

Going Home!

I can't wait until I get home! It's so hard to sleep knowing I'm so close to hugging my mom and being able to see my sister again!

I miss norcal so much and I hope I may be able to get a job there soon. I want to be able to talk with my parents everyday and help them with their computer problems. I want to drive them wherever they want to go and take care of their finances.

I want them to finally relax and have the life they deserve. I love you, mom, dad, and mui.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Making Games More Enjoyable

I despise insulting teammates. Yes, even if they do something wrong, I hate it! Deep down in my core, I want my team to focus on how to improve rather than focusing on their faults.

Today's game was an example of how much more enjoyable it was to point out the strengths of my teammates rather than the things they did wrong. Sure, I did mention friendly reminders like, "be careful not to overextend", but I loved thanking my teammates for warding correctly or healing me. We lost the game, but we ended up enjoying it so much more than a previous game where reprimands were thrown out.

I aim to help my team grow by recognizing areas they can improve in, but I also want them to know they are growing in certain areas and what their strengths are. Skill is gained through experience, but I believe positive reinforcement is the best catalyst to speeding up the process.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Adjusting to Losses

As a member of a League of Legends (LoL) team, there are many obstacles we have in front of us. Today's obstacle happens to be losing.

Today's loss brought up a complaint that we were matched against people who have won many more games than we have, so we had no chance of winning.

I completely disagree.

LoL is a game that can change in an instant. One good teamfight can lead a team to victory. One bad decision can mean the end. So it is natural to believe that we are outmatched when we fight against people who have seen many more battles than us... but I believe that we had the chance to win.

The amount of victories you have does not change your ability to win unless you have tried to learn from your mistakes. I noticed our team was able to win some battles near the end -- when being outmatched makes it highly difficult to come back. We had the ability to overcome, but our main problem is mental focus.

When you're fighting a losing battle, it's hard to play at the best of your ability, but that is where utilizing a strong mental game can propel you to victory. We were weary and ready to give up. We left ourselves open to getting caught by the enemy. If we have more focus, we can wear down the patience of the enemy team and capitalize on their mistakes.

This is something I am lacking, but I realize my weakness and I will turn my weakness into my strength!




Saturday, August 4, 2012

20120804 Dream Log

Strange dream where I was in a history class and actively participated in answering questions and writing on the white board. The professor recommended that I take upper division history and I said "maybe".

I then caught sen sleeping in class and I texted something funny to him.

The end. =)

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Recovering From The Aftermath

Okay, so obviously it didn't turn out the way I would have preferred, but I'm glad to have some closure. I feel wounded, but I also know that this is an experience I need to face in order to prepare for a brighter future.

A goal that is hard to reach is much more rewarding when obtained. If I ever find love in the future, it will be something I will cherish much more than my old nonchalant self.

Thank you for being honest with me and not putting me into limbo waiting for a favorable response that will never come. Only a good friend will be honest with me and I am glad to know you.

I still stand by my words and I still love you as my friend. One day, maybe, I will find someone to love more than a friend. =)

Still optimistic,

Jv



Taking A Chance At Love

Ever had a moment where a wave of emotions rush over you and all you can think about all day is a special someone?

Yeah... that's the feeling I've been getting for the past two days.

I am addicted to seeing this girl's smile in my mind and even just to hold her hand is a feeling I long for. To be able to even talk to her gives me incredible joy. Ah, she's so beautiful. =)

But I can't get her out of my head. Part of me wants to return to my daily routine and part of me wants to indulge in the images of her smile. I'm not known to be courageous and I definitely hate going out of my introverted comfort zone... but for once I feel as if I have a vital message to convey.

I love you.

And I won't change my stance even if you don't love me the same way. I would rather you choose the options that lead you towards happiness than sacrifice it for me, but I would be someone who cherishes making you happy.

I think you probably won't feel the same way as I do, but I will still love you and I will be there for you.

I love you. =)





Sunday, July 22, 2012

20120722 Dream Log

I had a dream where I was playing LoL with Jim and a whole bunch of people. We were in this flying airship that was a carnival. I was teaching people around me how to play when I suddenly "disconnected" from the airship.

When I reconected, I wound up in a different area of the airship. Frantic, I tried to find my LoL group. I passed by a bunch of arcade machines and midway games and came near the area where the LoL games were held, but I still couldn't find it.

The airship started rumbling and shaking and I ended up chasing someone. I could no longer see them after chasing for a while, so I gave up to search for the LoL area.

After being unable to find the place, I became extremely worried and then I somehow obtained gourmet popcorn that people wanted. I saw a whole bunch of the students from gmc and was swarmed. They took most of my popcorn and by the time I found the LoL area, the airship was closed and shutting down.
The end.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Crazy Dream (05/05/2012)

Apparently, me and a whole bunch of my friends were part of a hunger games event. I started with this one girl who was really strong.

We planned to go to a building that could teleport us home, but ran into some people who wanted to kill us. The girl defeated most of them and I defeated some with the ability to cast fire.

Before we could reach the teleporter, we ran into a massive amount of zombies and got separated because I was determined to slip through them and get in the portal. I soon became surrounded.

In the midst of the zombies closing in on me, this one black girl pulled me out of the incoming zombies and led me towards the other survivors. We found out one person was behind the zombification of the people around us and was trying to eliminate us all.

We ended up getting surrounded by an even larger zombie force and we did (what I believe) something utterly stupid. We decided to link hands and walk in a circle, facing the zombies at random times or facing each other.
We did this until the zombies lost interest and I made it to the teleporter.

Then I woke up and decided that I am retarded.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Crazy Dream (4/16/2012)

I had this crazy dream where me and my coworkers were playing a game similar to LoL.  We all had abilities, but my team was starting to lose map control.  The game later regressed into fighting with fists, except that I got to use a weak airsoft pistol.

I shot and hit my targets about 85% of the time and beat Scott and Joel.  Scott conceded and allowed me to get the kill,  but later threw an alcohol bottle at me.  Joel didn't let me get the kill for the score board and the dream ended with me complaining about it while Chang was about to find me.

I also met Hansol's team at a later point and we made a quick alliance after he pretended to beat me up in his usual playful manner.  There was also this pretty girl who talked to me, but I have no idea who this was.

Rules:
- Clean up after yourself
- Don't cheat
- You are not the only team, but you can form alliances.

Weird dream.  I hope I'll get to blog about another one soon.  =)

Sunday, April 8, 2012

BLARGH! =)

Nothing going to be posted for the following week and last week, since Google Codejam is happening soon, but I will post up a timelapse for when I start!  Stay tuned!  =D

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Yesterday's Timelapse


Just to show you I wasn't lying, I did a timelapse of my coding (and non-coding) related activities after laundry yesterday.  =)

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Saturday Adventure - 3/31/2012

Today will be an adventure of oil change and laundry!  After conquering the horrors of waiting and complete boredom, I will be on my way to making a simple game in SDL and playing some LoL.

Part 1:

First things first, breakfast/lunch!  =D

Part 2:

Ate breakfast/lunch, finished oil change, bought detergent @ Staters, now waiting for laundry to finish!  Can't wait to start on SDL!

Part 3:

Finished laundry, did some SDL, but my mind is losing focus.  Time for a break!

Part 4:

Played a normal draft game of LoL.  My skills are very rusty, but I managed to pull through a 13/1/11 game in normal draft.  Maybe I'll play a ranked game later?

Time for dinner and more SDL!  =D

Part 5:

Saw a movie with Sen (HUNGER GAMES FTW!) and finished making hovers work for SDL.  Next would be events and then making sure it doesn't get overridden by changes in the mouse states... but that will be for another day!  Sleep time!

Monday, March 26, 2012

Results! Um... Results?

One of the most common things I hear is, "Results are not everything".  I believe that to be true with all my heart.

But results are definitely NOT nothing.

After watching all the TED videos and youtube videos on game development, I was able to recall how I believed (and still do) that people have amazing ideas and potential, but it was when I saw the ideas put into action by the TED speakers and game development vlogs, I saw how we trick ourselves into becoming stagnant.

Once we come up with an idea, we feel proud that we reached that goal and that we can reward ourselves by taking a break.  And that break becomes longer and longer, as we feel we must have this surge of initiative rush into our system somehow and move our bodies onward, like puppets, to finish an amazing task.

Oh, how I wish it were so...

But it is far easier to dream than to take action.  I saw how my plans to create amazing things have actually stopped me from creating anything.  I think I need to take the advice of one TED speaker who says, "Keep your ideas to yourself!"

And now I understand (to a stronger degree) that the ideas just allow me to get a bit of publicity from the people around me (those who say, "Oh, that is amazing!") and the feeling of satisfaction puts me in a state of complacency.

I need to move forward and resist the temptation to show off what I have done.  To only show work that has been accomplished instead of work that may come to fruition.

So what am I going to do to start everything off?  I'm sure you know what my answer will be.

It's a secret!  =)

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

I Have A Plan! A Soup PLANtation!

Today was a great day at soup plantation! Tons of food and great company! I hope I'll get the chance to treat everyone out one day and just hang out. =)

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Have I Been Tying My Shoe Laces Wrong?

And the other implications that may follow.  Check out this video!  =)

It's the small advantages that matter.  =D

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Dream Log - 3/18/2012

Today I had this weird dream.  The concept is similar to the show "Awake", but I don't know the actual details about the show -- I haven't seen it.  =(

The main character in my dream was this one girl who would sometimes have dreams where she is in a different world.  There are times where she would revisit the world, but if she ever died in her dream, she would never revisit the dream.

Some of the people around her experience the same dreams and notice that their dreams are tied to certain positions of the planets.  When a planet is seen at night, the dreams may be tied to their other character at that planet or dimension.

The dream led to two main characters going on an adventure to save the lives of their dream characters whenever their characters were imprisoned or in danger.  It was an interesting idea that I probably got from watching the flash video "Snow Snow For Lucy" and all those Justice League episodes.


By the way, I really like the animation mentioned above.  =)

Saturday, March 17, 2012

TED Talks - Shame And Why We Won't Have Great Careers



This talk about shame really drove me to understand a little more about some things that hinder me from pursuing what I long to do.  There are times where I tell myself, "You can't, because you are [some adjective for weakness]"

I love how she talks about embracing vulnerability and also fighting against shame and the fear of failure.  This point was also amplified by the following talk:



What really touched me was how we tend to place blame on the precious things around us as the reason we are not able to pursue our passions.  He made it clear that we may end up pushing our hidden problems onto the precious people around us if we play that blame game.

Lots of awesome videos this weekend and one more day closer to the Google Codejam!  I hope as I continue this path of growth that I will not falter when pursuing my passion and be courageous enough to move forward in the face of the unknown, because as I overcome laziness, the problem of uncertainty is my biggest obstacle.

C'mon Jv!  Apply what you learned!  =)

Friday, March 16, 2012

TED Video: Why We Do What We Do



(Warning:  Contains some swearing!  Well, a good amount.)

This speaker's message really resonates with me.  We complain a lot about the resources that keep us from achieving, but it is really our resourcefulness that gives us strength to accomplish things.  This really made my Friday awesome and I will now move on to enjoying my weekend rest.  =D

Thursday, March 15, 2012

March - Current Situation

Okay, so if you don't know already, I'm back down in SoCal working at StealStreet.com!  It's been a blast (although I can't say the same about the drive) and I got to meet some new friends.  =)

I'm currently looking forward to the new items that I'm helping the company launch (hush hush secret!) and the upcoming Google coding competition.  OH YEAH!

As the week is winding down to the weekend, it's been cool just watching some of the Ted.com videos (Like ones on motivation or box packing)

I'm still procrastinating at times when I'm trying to get some work done away from work, but I hope I'll be able to finally start blogging about my first flash game... EVAR!  =D

So yeah, same old boring no picture blog, but I'll get around to posting something worthwhile.  Hopefully.  =P

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Failing At Presenting Ideas (And How I Can Improve)

There are a lot of ideas that I come up with randomly.  Some of them are productive and some of them are just for laughs and giggles.  Today's story is about my failure.  ='(

I guess it all started when I was discussing with my boss about improvements for guiding writers to complete the tasks we have.  My boss then realized that we might be able to improve the way we instruct our writers and it eventually led to a discussion of how to automate some processes.

So now we come to the discussion and there is this back and forth between my two bosses.  It's not an argument, but a strong discussion and I could not present a solution that I felt would work for the processes they wanted to implement.  I realized that my ideas were lacking something and that I still have much to work on.

Some of the traits I was missing were:

  • Quantification:  How do I quantify whether or not my process will work?  Do I have any data or information to base off of it?  Will I have some kind of margin of error?
  • Clarity:  Is it clear and concise?  Is it explained in a way that removes jargon and creates a bigger picture of how I accomplish the task at hand?
  • Understanding of the problem:  Is the problem originally described really the problem we need to solve?
I am disappointed that I could not resolve the problem right then and there, but I now know more of what I need in order to solve the problem and I can already see how much I can grow from overcoming this.

END OF POST, TIRED AND SLEEPY!

Sorry.  =(

Thursday, March 1, 2012

What's It Like Being A Manager?

Well, for one, it's not my cup of tea... when it isn't part of my field.  Right now I'm a manager for writers and having to stay on top of them is not very fun.

Personally, I live and strive on programming challenges, solving difficult software problems, and putting my heart and soul into my algorithms and codes.  When managing a team of fellow coders, it doesn't feel like managing anymore.  It feels like I'm doing friendly reminders or I'm being a part of creating something AWESOME!

But I do enjoy one thing.  I enjoy being able to tell the people under me that they are doing a great job.  I don't do that when it's not true, but it's such a great feeling to see people realize their own potential when they accomplish something -- and I want to be the one to recognize it!  I love sending encouraging emails and being able to talk "business casually" with others.

Plus they have to deal with my awkward introverted nature and I don't have to feel bad about putting them through it.  ;D

Of course, work is work and I do see the bigger picture of what I'm doing.  With no one performing my job, the company's growth potential is limited and if it does not grow, then I cannot push past these tasks and work solely upon software/websites.

The moment I can train someone to perform these tasks, the better off I will be... but I do hope that the person who grabs these reins will enjoy the ride more than me.  =)

(Just so you know, I love software much more than websites.  Web coding is NOT software development, although back-end processes and web applications are closely related)

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.  =P

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Phew! Glad I Made It Past That Day

I love keeping that day secret.  It's the joy of seeing how many people discover or recognize it's there, yet hoping they don't go overboard with it (and overboard in this case is "giving material things").  I love words a little more than I do gifts and I cherish my (very close) friendships over the money they lose.

(I know this may be cryptic for some of you, but I'm only using this to reflect... and it is my blog after all)

I am so surprised that I have so many transitions when I look back at my blogs.  All these changes that shape and mold me into who I am now... it's so interesting to me!  I never could be the person to look one year in the future and say, "Yeah, I expect to be there."  So much of my life has been about branching off from my main path and finding that it doesn't work... or that I was on the right track and had strayed away from it.

Well, I don't want to dwell anymore today about the past, but it's fun to see all the stupid and smart things I've done.  I just know that I love where I am now and I hope I'll love what's to come.  =D