Monday, August 20, 2012

Back In Norcal!

Oh how amazing it is to be back!  I love the weather (sort of, still too cold for me, but not too hot), I love being with my family, and I love being so close to a tennis court!

It's great being back and enjoying the atmosphere I miss out on in Socal.  Even though my degree of freedom is (very very slightly) less than my freedom in Socal, the love I feel from my family is something that fills my soul.  =)

Alas, I have to leave tomorrow, but I will take the love and care my parents gave me and bring my renewed self to Socal!  Time to make my mark on the world and be a better person overall!  YEAH!

Going Home!

I can't wait until I get home! It's so hard to sleep knowing I'm so close to hugging my mom and being able to see my sister again!

I miss norcal so much and I hope I may be able to get a job there soon. I want to be able to talk with my parents everyday and help them with their computer problems. I want to drive them wherever they want to go and take care of their finances.

I want them to finally relax and have the life they deserve. I love you, mom, dad, and mui.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Making Games More Enjoyable

I despise insulting teammates. Yes, even if they do something wrong, I hate it! Deep down in my core, I want my team to focus on how to improve rather than focusing on their faults.

Today's game was an example of how much more enjoyable it was to point out the strengths of my teammates rather than the things they did wrong. Sure, I did mention friendly reminders like, "be careful not to overextend", but I loved thanking my teammates for warding correctly or healing me. We lost the game, but we ended up enjoying it so much more than a previous game where reprimands were thrown out.

I aim to help my team grow by recognizing areas they can improve in, but I also want them to know they are growing in certain areas and what their strengths are. Skill is gained through experience, but I believe positive reinforcement is the best catalyst to speeding up the process.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Adjusting to Losses

As a member of a League of Legends (LoL) team, there are many obstacles we have in front of us. Today's obstacle happens to be losing.

Today's loss brought up a complaint that we were matched against people who have won many more games than we have, so we had no chance of winning.

I completely disagree.

LoL is a game that can change in an instant. One good teamfight can lead a team to victory. One bad decision can mean the end. So it is natural to believe that we are outmatched when we fight against people who have seen many more battles than us... but I believe that we had the chance to win.

The amount of victories you have does not change your ability to win unless you have tried to learn from your mistakes. I noticed our team was able to win some battles near the end -- when being outmatched makes it highly difficult to come back. We had the ability to overcome, but our main problem is mental focus.

When you're fighting a losing battle, it's hard to play at the best of your ability, but that is where utilizing a strong mental game can propel you to victory. We were weary and ready to give up. We left ourselves open to getting caught by the enemy. If we have more focus, we can wear down the patience of the enemy team and capitalize on their mistakes.

This is something I am lacking, but I realize my weakness and I will turn my weakness into my strength!

Saturday, August 4, 2012

20120804 Dream Log

Strange dream where I was in a history class and actively participated in answering questions and writing on the white board. The professor recommended that I take upper division history and I said "maybe".

I then caught sen sleeping in class and I texted something funny to him.

The end. =)

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Recovering From The Aftermath

Okay, so obviously it didn't turn out the way I would have preferred, but I'm glad to have some closure. I feel wounded, but I also know that this is an experience I need to face in order to prepare for a brighter future.

A goal that is hard to reach is much more rewarding when obtained. If I ever find love in the future, it will be something I will cherish much more than my old nonchalant self.

Thank you for being honest with me and not putting me into limbo waiting for a favorable response that will never come. Only a good friend will be honest with me and I am glad to know you.

I still stand by my words and I still love you as my friend. One day, maybe, I will find someone to love more than a friend. =)

Still optimistic,


Taking A Chance At Love

Ever had a moment where a wave of emotions rush over you and all you can think about all day is a special someone?

Yeah... that's the feeling I've been getting for the past two days.

I am addicted to seeing this girl's smile in my mind and even just to hold her hand is a feeling I long for. To be able to even talk to her gives me incredible joy. Ah, she's so beautiful. =)

But I can't get her out of my head. Part of me wants to return to my daily routine and part of me wants to indulge in the images of her smile. I'm not known to be courageous and I definitely hate going out of my introverted comfort zone... but for once I feel as if I have a vital message to convey.

I love you.

And I won't change my stance even if you don't love me the same way. I would rather you choose the options that lead you towards happiness than sacrifice it for me, but I would be someone who cherishes making you happy.

I think you probably won't feel the same way as I do, but I will still love you and I will be there for you.

I love you. =)